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Many people think that a doula might try to replace the father in the role of main birth supporter, but the truth is the dad and the doula make the ideal team!
Men make wonderful coaches and no one can love or encourage the mom the same way they can. But when labor begins, the dads need support too. Men get concerned when they see their loved one in pain and they can’t control what’s happening. They need to know that things are okay so that they can have confidence to comfort the laboring woman. They truly want to say and do the right thing, but most men don’t automatically know what that is. So many dads tell us how relieved they are when the nurse or doula is in the room. Having that assurance that everything is going just fine, frees them up to be completely confident and supportive of their wife.
Having a doula there, the dad not only has constant reassurance that things are going well, he has someone who can relieve him if he has to step out or get a little needed rest. There are also times the doula can tend to his needs for him, so he doesn’t have to leave your side.
Delivery rooms can be very chaotic places full of people you don’t know, running in and out. A doula, whom you come to know personally over the few weeks leading up to birth, can be the guard on your privacy. She does this by helping to avoid unnecessary disruptions and excess staff coming and going; and by helping maintain a peaceful, comfortable, stable environment for you to birth in.
A doula also knows medical lingo and can put into plain English what is going on. With all her knowledge of childbirth, a doula can explain each step in the labor process, as well as all your options when it comes time to make decisions. This empowers both the mother and father to be more in control and obtain the birth they desire.
Doulas can be very hands on or simply a very strong supporter behind the father, that is up to each couple. She works for you. There is no one who can replace the role of the father! A woman needs all of his love and support. But when giving so much of himself, a dad needs someone to coach him, support him, reassure him, tend to his needs, and cheer him on all the way through.
That is why dads need doulas too! |
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